Because of where I am at in life – mid thirties, a mom of a preschooler – I am constantly surrounded by pregnant women. A couple of years ago, I loved it. Now, I deplore it. In fact, I avoid situations where there are pregnant people, or where someone might announce a pregnancy.
Obviously, there are times when I have to be around pregnant people. My sister in law, for example. We started trying when they were pregnant with #1. And yes, #2 is due is a couple months. And here’s the point of this post – It’s not that I am not happy for them. I love my niece and my niece to be. I truly do. And I am happy for my SIL and BIL. But they serve as a marker in time. They summarize just how long I have been waiting/trying. In the amount of time I (we) have been trying for one, they have had 2.
My husband has another sibling, who had a baby at the same time as my BIL/SIL, and I get nervous every time we talk. I now they wanna have more kids, and I am building myself up to hear the announcement.
As a rule, I don’t attend baby showers. It is just too painful. I imagine what it would be like if I was the other party. I don’t know that I’d understand, honestly. Before we started trying, I tried co-hosting a shower with a friend who has suffered infertility – at that point, she was in the process of adopting. I didn’t understand why she didn’t want to do it. I do now.